Monday April 12th, 2010 - 10 in 10 days

I hate the commercials proclaiming 10 pounds in ten days. They usually involve some stupid pill that really cleans your colon and makes you piss. I can guarantee that I can lose four pounds in one day. All I have to do is ride from Morrison to Denver and back (34 miles) in the summer heat. No matter how much water and gatorade I drink on the ride, I usually weigh four pounds less than I did before the ride.

That being said, I weighed in at 331 this morning. I was constipated and bloated so I know it's off by as much as 5 pounds, but still! Wholly crap. I was down to 313 in October. This is stupid. The fake tattoo was stupid. I weighed in at 322 on the 1st. I must get down to 319 by the end of the month, so I'm going to do my version of the 10 day. First, 10 day plans are stupid, but its only 3% of my body weight so it's not so bad. My plan is simple: Follow my own advise... sleep well, eat vegan, but not too much, and exercise... a lot. My other tool is writing my daily weight on the back of my hand. I'm trying to psychologically shame myself into compliance. I did great today, but I had to run my youngest son into the ER for possible appendicitis and it got late and I got real hungry. I ate a small bowl of granola with soy milk. Not the worst thing in the world, but it's not going to be helpful for the 10/10.

Fair warning. My 18 year old got his license today. Now two of my flock are on the road. Avoid driving in Denver. It occurred to me that there are two things that my sons could say to freak me out... 1) She's pregnant 2) Dad, can I borrow the BMW. Scary stuff.