Monday December 13th 2010 - Bedtime Meditation

One of the audio files made available from the Gabriel Method is a bedtime meditation. I loaded it up onto my iPod and listen to it as I take my final bow for the night. Jon Gabriel speaks about relaxing and visualizing the next day's schedule and goals with positive reinforcements. The track is 22 minutes, but I have only made it through the first few minutes. Maybe 5 minutes if I'm anxious, but after that I am 'a snoozen.

I think I am able to be hypnotized easily is because I have a fairly deep focus. I really concentrate on the suggestions because I want it to work. If you felt uncomfortable or didn't want to be hypnotized I doubt that you would be able to relax enough. The meditation/hypnosis, whether in Paula's office or from the cd's, make me feel good. I awake with a positive attitude and my cravings for fatty foods have gone down dramatically.

I am easing into this struggle with realistic expectations. It has taken 45 years to build up all of these root cause issues. I doubt that they will go away overnight.

Maybe I wrote about this, but I have realized that there are some key issues that make me fat:

• When I was in football in the sixth grade I got pushed around and beat up from practice and games. I desperately wanted to be bigger for survival purposes. The desire to be "football" large continued for three more years.
• I was very sensitive to adult comments like my step-dad insisting that I had a Ubangi Butt (his way of saying I had a big butt). However, he started telling me this when I was very young and still as skinny as a lamp post. In addition, my loving aunts teased me about "filling" out. I was skinny until I got married at age 19. All of these comments were without merit, but they became very powerful negative reinforcements.
• My uncle committed suicide when I was 14? I never thought it bothered me, but I found out through talking to Paula that it did have a huge impact on my young life.
• I had a horrible diet when I started working at the warehouses. I over ate with the other warehouse workers and then go days without sleep and proper nutrition. I think the years of abuse messed up my metabolism.
• I was heavy before my dad committed suicide in '93, but I really started to pack it on after that.
• In 1998 to 2001 I presided over a dot com that I had co-founded. It couldn't have been more stressful. In 2001 we had grown to the point where we needed venture capital to continue and I lost my best presentation. The company went under and I had a major bipolar episode that landed me in the hospital(s).
• After that I worried about survival more than I did food so I just ate everything until I was full. On top of that I was taking bipolar meds like Depekote that makes it incredibly difficult to lose weight. I also had a bout with rashes that required steroids which also made me gain weight.
• Up to the point I had tried every fad diet under the sun. I had lost weight just to see it come back with reinforcements. 
• Then I was told that I was sick with everything plus Leukemia. I started ballooning and then went into the hospital and just stopped eating. I starved myself for several months and lost 60 pounds or so.
• Then I started gaining it all back plus reinforcements.

No one wants to be fat. It just happens. You let your guard down and gain tons of weight and then fight and starve to lose the weight. My body is programmed to be fat. I am now trying these alternative therapies to re-program myself to be normal. It may take a while to see the results, but I know that solving the root causes of my obesity is the key. If I can control my mind and body, I will lose the weight and keep it off.

December 9th 2010 - Feeling pretty good

A major element of the Gabriel Method combined with Paula Robbins' hypnotherapy is the feeling of contentment with the stress of everyday life. The idea is to reduce or eliminate the emotional scaring and reoccurring issues that block weight loss. Through this process I have realized that I have a lot more prior life issues to deal with and I realized I like being big.

I think its a mechanism of protection. I, admittingly, have a soft heart and I get my feelings hurt even if I don't show it. I am also afraid of being picked on. When I was young I think friends and strangers liked to pick on me because I like to talk about my victories and share the excitement of life which they interpret as boosting or ego. Some of that may be true, but I like to be on the positive side because the alternative is being a vessel of negativity. Who wants that?

Anyway, I realized that when I work out I try to build up not trim down. It's the same with fat. I am fat so I am bigger and people don't pick on me. The bad side is that people treat fat people like they choose to be fat. Seriously? My subconscious has directed my body to protect me in the only way it knows how... by helping me be big by turning my fat receptors on. The subconscious mind also protects me from losing weight. That's why diets only work for a while and then your body turns on its fat protectionism and retains calories and white fat that is usually burnt off by skinny people.

I have been working on my fears with the therapist and working on my positive vision of health through the teachings of Jon Gabriel and I can feel it working. I tried the sleep meditation tape last night and feel into a deep hypnotic state. When the 22 minutes that felt like 5 minutes finished I rolled over and had a great night's sleep. The power of hypnotic suggestion is trying to allow me to think thin and feel safe enough to let go of the weight. The multi facaded therapy has helped me stop over-eating and late night snacks. I have a lot of work to be done, but I already feel more control over my eating. I'm still eating and I am not restricting or causing my body to lack, but I am not over-eating because I just don't have that desire; that craving. I like this new program. Deal with the cause not, the result and then the weight magically sheds. I have already lost two inches on my waist. Nice.

Tuesday December 7th 2010 - Bipolar type II ?

Someone asked me if I was bipolar I or bipolar II. There are a bijillion different types of bipolar. It's not as simple as type I or II diabetes. I guess the difference is whether you get depressed more than you get manic. In that case it is simple. I am manic-manic. 

I get angry. I get frustrated. I have down time, but, for the most part, I am this: Manic. I enjoy manic like some people enjoy breathing. I like thinking big and multitasking. I like over achieving. However, I am probably difficult to live with. 

No. I am difficult to live with. I run at full speed for 16 hours a day and move smoothly from one project to the next. The busier I am the better. When I am not busy I start to get upset or over thinking things. I am over-barring in the sense that expect others to work as hard as I do. I am not over barring in terms of controlling who they hang out with or date or how they dress. 

I just want them to commit to something, anything, and give it 100%. Yuck. I am over barring. I'm like a bear. Don't poke the bear. I can be a grizzly bear or a cuddly bear. To most people I am a teddy bear. My boys might have a different interpretation. 

As you might be able to tell, I had an altercation with my son regarding make-up homework. After a difficult evening, we have come to a truce. We have a new policy regarding D's and he pledges to not fall behind. If he falls behind, I confiscate his phone, iPod, and computer. Sounds strict, but there is a history of untruthfulness that has degenerated the situation. I wish I could be the buddy; the friend, the cool dad, but I am the father... damn it.

I went to the hypno-therapist today and I didn't think she would be able to get me under. It took awhile, but near the end I had successfully gone way too far under. I tend to concentrate on the goal of relaxing so hard that once I achieve it I go too far. Funny huh. I think we may have worked on enough of my issues that the next time we can talk about losing weight.

In the mean time, I am listening to and reading the Gabriel Method. He really does make a lot of sense and I know understand why I have failed at holding off weight. My big lesson today was about "Lacking." For example, if you deny chocolate and your body know that you are denying something on purpose it thinks that you are about to deny more (ie: famine) and it kicks into defensive mode. The idea is to feed your body what it needs within reason and eat as healthy as possible while offering your body the things that it needs like probiotics for digestion and Omega 3's. Do not diet. Make you body believe that it is safe and okay to lose weight. Be in touch with your bodies needs and eat properly. I'm being repetitive. I'm tired. I need to read for an hour and then sleep. The therapist is giving me a hard time because I only want to sleep for six hours. You lose more fat when you sleep. That's a fact. Since I have a lot of fat to give, I should be sleeping about 14 hours a day. Ha! Just kidding. 7 hours is fine. So I am learning something new everyday and I already lost two inches and I haven't even started trying. Oh yeah. You have to eat at least six times a day and never ever let yourself get low blood sugar. Your body thinks it needs to conserve. Put down the keypad and walk awayyyy

Sunday December 5th 2010 - My current weight loss strategy

I thought I would briefly update my current events and then explain the diet strategy that I am working on right now as well as describe my bipolar treatment.

Well, my son was released from the hospital yesterday morning, so we both got to sleep in our own beds. He looks about as swollen as he had the first day we noticed swelling which is a dramatic improvement. Now he is on 300 mg of clindamycin four times a day. Normally, that would be a monster dose for a 14 year old, but we need to completely eradicate the infection from his body.

Our household, in general, needs holiday cheer in a major way so I made an ambitious attempt at decorating our front yard. I must admit, it looks pretty nice and it seems to have had the desired effect. Today is the last regular season football game for my fantasy football team so I'll probably watch the Denver game and then the Colts game. I should finish in first place and then we have three playoff games. I hope to win it all because, as Vince Lombardi said, "if winning isn't everything, why do they keep score."

My current diet strategy revolves around reconciliation with the root cause of my weight gain and I don't mean deep fried Twinkies (although I have heard they are like sex). No, my weight is mostly in my head. It is my way of giving myself comfort when other things in life gets me down. It's about layer upon layers of emotional protection. When I get stressed I eat. When I give up on dieting or become depressed, I eat. And, of course, sometimes I over eat because the food is just so heavenly prepared. The fact that I am a fantastic cook is both a blessing and a curse. When I cook, I cook with passion and love... and butter.

Contrary to every diet I have ever tried, I am not as concerned with what I eat as much as I am concerned with over eating. But that too has a qualifier; the food must be freshly prepared or raw (vegetables and fruit, not meat). I am avoiding processed foods because they process and over cook the potential nutrients right out of the food. I am also concentrating on never letting my blood sugar get too low so I am going to concentrate on eating vegetables, fruit, and nuts for snacks. The idea is that I eat healthy and balance out my supplements. On top of the regular vitamins, I am taking digestive probiotics and Omega 3 in the form of Flax Seed Oil because I hate to burp after I have taken a fish oil capsule. I almost through up one time. Gross.

Healthy eating is paramount, but I have to get rid of all of this stored emotional crap so I'm seeing the hypnotherapist. Most of the appointments are regular old therapy which is great to identify issues and then we use hypnosis to allow me to let go of these issues or forgive people and myself. I've found out that I really do have a lot of baggage to clear before we can get into weight reducing hypnosis. I'm looking forward to reaching that part.

In concert with the hypnotherapy, I am following the Gabriel Method because he strives on healthy eating, proper body chemistry and emotional healing. Two favors: Use my affiliate links to visit the Gabriel site because I get paid (a little) and because you will quickly see why I am into this method right now. I really think this current approach could be the combination that I have been looking for.

Quick tip: Your body temperature is partially regulated by the good brown fat. Brown fat burns white fat to generate energy and heat. When you jump into a pool it feels cold for a while and then you get used to it. What is really happening is that the brown fat starts burning white fat to bring your cold resistance up. So here is the trick that I recently stumbled on. When you take your shower, run warm water to wash and then slowly start to cool off the water to the point where you are standing in a cold cold shower. If you do it gradually it won't shock you, but it will kick in the brown fat regulations. I haven't tried it yet, but I will later today and I'll let you know if it feels like a complete line of crap. Supposedly it makes you feel energized. We will see. 

My bipolar disorder is regulated with therapy and medication. Sorry people that don't believe in drug therapy. Bipolars NEED medication. When ever a bipolar hurts themselves or others it is usually because they decided they felt "cured" and went off of their medication. I never miss a dose. I take lorazapam, Lamictal, Hydroxyzine, and Seroquel. I also take synthroid for my hyperthyroid and supplements. As a matter of fact, it is time for my next dose. Good holidays and football to you! 

Friday December 3rd 2010 - Hanging out in the hospital again

Actually, I'm not the patient. My youngest son complained about a sore jaw on Monday night and I gave him some Ibuprofen. He looked a little swollen, but nothing alarming. Then, on Tuesday morning the pain had increased and his right jaw was definitely swollen.

Thinking it was an abscessed tooth, I took him to my wife's office. The dentists and the doctor next door concluded that it was not dental related, rather, it had the earmarks of parotitsis. An hour later our old PCP confirmed and placed him on antibiotics.

Wednesday his jaw was so swollen I cursed myself for letting him sleep in without checking his swelling. Within a half hour we were in our current PCP office and he gave him a massive shot of antibiotics and added a more powerful antibiotic. By now his low grade fever and become a constant temp over 101 degrees.

On Thursday the swelling was extreme so I brought him to the ER and he has admitted into the hospital and that's where we remain right now. Today the IV antibiotics seem to have taken hold. We maybe able to go home Saturday or Sunday. My wife brought us both new clothes and shampoo. My son was freaked out about the extreme swelling so I haven't left. The room is nice and I have a fold out bed so all is fine, but I haven't had a laptop until today.

I was going to write about my interview with the museum. I had a perfect interview, but they gave it to someone else. It's frustrating to have the experience and education that everyone used to want and then be told you're over qualified. It's okay. I'm not upset, so I must have agreed with them that it wasn't the right job for me. Besides, I'm very busy with the columns and book and painting and the art business and... whew.

I was doing pretty good with the advice from the Gabriel Method, but then all hell let loose with this infection and I have eaten like crap. I hate hospital food, so I went out and got a sub from Quiznos and over ate and now I feel like a fat pumpkin.

And then, I forgot to bring my CPAP and I snored so loud I kept my son up. I also had stupidly only brought one day of bipolar meds and I didn't get this mornings dose until my wife brought it this evening. Most of the meds are fine to take late, but I get real edgy when I don't have my lorazapam. I took 2mg and now I feel okay.

So, while I have neglected to write on the blog, I received an email today that this blog is #17 out of the top 50 blogs covering the Global Obesity Epidemic. Now I feel guilty about not writing everyday, so here I am. Click here to see the award.

Tuesday November 30th 2010 - Gabriel Method & my museum Interview

The problem with diets and surgeries is that they don't fix you. Why are you fat? I'm fat because of stress and pleasure. I wear my stress and eat for pleasure. I don't just want to be thin, I want to BE thin. By that, I mean that I want to be thin and healthy in my head as well as in body.

I wear my baggage. While I knew in my heart that the barrier to becoming thin was the emotional scars that I have built up. I thought that hypnotherapy would magically make me eat thin, but it's purpose is to clear the baggage and then change my eating habits. I didn't realize just how much baggage I had until I started meeting with Paula. 90% of our appointments are traditional therapy with hypnotherapy to subconsciously give up the stress that has built throughout my life. I have about 150 pounds of stress.

Oh man, excuse me. I have a head cold and an interview tomorrow and I'm wiped out. I will continue this line of thought tomorrow. click.

Tuesday November 23, 2010 - Hypnotherapy Update

I went to my third hypnotherapy appointment on the 16th of November. I think this may be the most important part of my weight loss campaign. I've always said that weight loss or gain is in the head. I believe that most bariatric surgeries that fail in the long run is because the subconscious doesn't accept the change and will eventually try to regain the weight. Something else that we have been talking about is change on the cellular level. By that I mean changing the way your body processes fat. One of the ideas we had was to do an outright sprint for 10 minutes before each workout, thus, tricking your body into thinking that you're being chased and you need to be lighter and faster or you will become lunch. Kind of silly when written out like that, but it does make some sense and I am going to try it.

I had a lot more "issues" than I thought, so the hypnotherapist and I still trying to untangle my protective web and then we will start attacking the weight straight on. In the mean time, I am renewing my gym membership and falling back into the 3 to 4 workouts per weeks. It does more than burn calories; it also helps me feel better and, thus, helps remind me to watch my diet.

I am also going to break down and buy the Gabriel Method and incorporate that into this weight loss chapter. Hopefully, I will be able to record some weight loss soon. And I may revert to veganism after Thanksgiving. After about two weeks your body feels cleaner and more energetic.

Bariatric surgery really does need to be a last resort and, even though I have tried almost every diet under the sun, I don't feel like I have exhausted all options. So now I will continue the hypnotherapy (because I enjoy it) and do the Gabriel thing and cut back on the animal proteins and get back into the gym. Wow, I lost weight just thinking about all of that. I have confidence in this attempt because I am trying to settle the root cause of my "mental" weight.

Tuesday November 23, 2010 - Top Body Weight Blog Award

OnlineCounselingDegrees.com

It would figure that while I have been the busiest with the art estate and neglectful of my blog posts that this blog has been recognized as a Top Body Weight Blog. 

Pasted from http://www.onlinecounselingdegrees.com/features/body-weight/

2010 Top Body Weight Blog

The obsession with body weight is at an all time high in this country. Diet programs featuring eating plans and coaches and counselors are all over television and print media. What is a healthy body weight? What is your BMI? So many questions about weight and proper nutrition, how do you know which information to rely on? Our award winners can help with that, from experts in nutrition to fitness to counselors these blogs will entertain you, inspire you and steer you in the right direction to find those answers!

Wednesday November 10, 2010 - New York City trip

The last few days have been pretty good in terms of diet. I wanted to make sure I wasn't feeling bloated for my trip today.

My wife and I are flying out to NYC for some intense meetings with the Greene Naftali and the Anthology Film Archives. We will also be meeting with reps from the Whitney, MoMa, and NY Film Coop. In addition, we will be meeting with our new contract counsel.

The funnest part of the trip will be our night out on Broadway. We always try to make a show when we are out there. This time will be particularly exciting. We will be seeing the Addams Family musical with Nathan Lane and Bebe kfaff something (lilith from Cheers and Fraser).

I don't have to worry about exercise since most of our destinations are within 10 blocks of our hotel so we will walking most of the time. We will be back late Saturday.

November 6th, 2010 - Finally getting serious again

Sorry for the length between posts. I will start using this as a daily journal again starting today. I have a lot going on right now and I am spending the greater part of each day writing articles and wishing I was writing the book.

A few days before, during, and after the election I had a huge surge in readership. This week I had over 10,000 reads. Unreal. Just thinking about that many people reading my articles was a shot of adrenalin. My reads have stabilized at about 200 reads per day for both columns combined, but I am very competitive so I will continue to try to increase that average. I would like to have 300-500 reads per day and that takes good relevant articles. It is the same as this blog. If you don't write consistently, then your readership drops.

This coming week Cheri and I are going out to NYC to meet with our gallery and film distributors to try to establish a unified strategy for the future. We are a little cautious, but eager to proceed. The highlight of our four day trip will certainly be going to the Broadway show Addams Family with Nathan Lane. Very excited about that. Today I have to prepare a portfolio of information so we can make the best use of our time. I will be borrowing my sister's laptop so I should be able to write this blog.

At this point, I am writing two blogs, two Examiner columns, and the book. Soon I will add to that three additional weekly columns for a new publishing company. I am writing more than 6,000 words per week which doesn't sound like much, but the columns have to be well researched, cited, and concise. Concise is not so easy for me. Take this post. I've only been writing it for about 15 minutes and I already have what looks like 500 words. Free writing is easy. Concise writing is harder.

I went to my second hypnotherapy appointment this week. She is a good therapist even without the hypnosis, so the hypnosis is kind of a bonus. This week we continued to work on issues that have been bothering me for years. It is very healthy and the hypnosis is very relaxing. Either I fell into a deeper trance this week or I fell asleep. HA! Maybe that's what hypnosis is supposed to feel like. I don't know what normal is.

My diet has been crappy, but I'm starting to gear up to go back into healthy eating. I think I will have greater success with the hypnosis backup. At least I hope I will.

Monday October 25th 2010 - Sunrise Hypnotherapy

Today was my first appointment with Paula C. at the Hypnotherapy. We went through a lot of definitions and introduction stuff. She gave me a CD to get used to her voice. Kind of funny, but I like her. She isn't all crystal and rock worship. She was about energy and spirituality and didn't stomp on my inclusive Christianity. I feel safe with her, but tired so, for once, I am going to cut this short. I have an appointment for my first hypnotism ever. I love new stuff. I can't wait. At some point I want to try acupuncture.

Thursday October 21, 2010 - the Gabriel Method

I started to read this "Gabriel Method" book and I completely understand his "how I got so damn fat" story. We'll have to see how it goes. I will probably try this along with the hypnotherapy.

The Gabriel Method is the revolutionary new
DIET-FREE way to get fit by getting your
body to want to be thin.
Idistinctly remember the moment that changed my life forever.
It happened in August of 2001. I weighed close to 410 pounds.
Over the previous twelve years, I had gained more than 200
pounds.
I had just gotten off Route 4 in New Jersey at the Paramus /
River Edge exit. As I was getting off the exit, a thought stunned
me like an electric shock: “My body wanted to be fat, and as
long as it wanted to be fat, there was nothing I could do to lose
weight.” I turned onto the nearest side street and just sat there in
my car.
Not another thought came into my head for the next twenty
minutes.
During the twelve years in which I gained two hundred
pounds, I had tried everything I could to lose weight, including
every diet under the sun—from low-fat diets to low-carb diets
and everything in between. I had spent time at both Nathan Pritikin’s
institute in California and with the late Dr. Atkins himself
in New York.
I spent over three thousand dollars with Dr. Atkins, and
in the end, the best he could do was yell at me for being so fat.
I also spent several other small fortunes on every conceivable
holistic cure and alternative health treatment available. No matter
what I did, my body continued to gain weight.
Every diet or program I went on always followed the exact
same pattern. It started with my having to count something—
calories, fat, carbohydrates, salt, whatever—and a list of things I
xiii
could not have. I followed the diet to the letter. I usually lost
weight quickly in the beginning, but then the rate at which I
lost weight would start to slow. Eventually, I stopped losing
weight altogether. At that point, I was dieting, not to lose weight,
but simply to maintain my current weight.
All the while my cravings for the foods that I was not
allowed to have escalated. Discouraged and dejected, there
would come a time when I was just too exhausted to fight my
cravings anymore, and I would binge. Weight that had taken me
a month or so to lose came back in just a matter of days. A few
weeks later, I was invariably 10 to 15 pounds heavier than when
I had started the diet.
No matter what I did to try to lose weight, my body fought
me tooth and nail, and in the end, it always won. After years of
banging my head against the wall and trying to force myself to
lose weight, I had to concede that, as long as my body wanted
to be fat, the situation was hopeless.
From the moment I made this realization, I renounced dieting
forever. I decided that instead of trying to force myself to lose
weight against my body’s will, I would turn my attention toward
understanding why my body wanted to be fat in the first place.
I then went on a quest for real answers. I spent hours a day
learning everything I could about biochemistry, nutrition, neurobiology,
and psychology. In the eighties, I attended The Warton
School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania. While I
was at Wharton, I became very interested in biochemistry and
took a full curriculum of biology courses. I also did a year of
research into cholesterol synthesis with Dr. Jose Rabinowitz at
the VA medical hospital in Philadelphia. This gave me a solid
enough background in biochemistry to make sense of all the
current obesity research.
I plowed through twenty or thirty research reports a day, and
after reading several hundred—if not a thousand—research
reports, I rapidly became an expert in the most cutting-edge
chemistry of obesity and weight loss. I also studied meditation,
hypnosis, neuro-linguistic programming, psycho-linguistics, Thought
Field Therapy, Tai Chi, Chi Kung, and the field of consciousness
Introduction
xiv
research. I even studied quantum physics. I was convinced that
the answers lay somewhere between the space that separates the
mind from the body.
But more than anything, I started studying my own body.
I stopped seeing it as the enemy that just wouldn’t listen to
me. I realized my problem was not my body but my lack of
understanding how to operate it. From that moment on, I
started listening to my body very closely. I also stopped trying
to push it around and force it to do something against its will.
Instead, I became its student, and as a result, I started learning
from my body.
Because I became a receptive student, my body became a
highly effective teacher. It taught me why it wanted to be fat and
what I would have to do to make it want to be thin.
As soon as I understood that there were reasons why my body
wanted to be fat, I stopped dieting. What was the point of trying
to diet if it was not going to solve the problem? I later discovered
that not only does dieting not work, but if your body already
wants to be fat, dieting will only make it want to be fatter.
Giving up dieting forever was the greatest and most liberating
thing I had ever done.
I hated dieting.
I hated being so obsessed with food and treating every hunger
signal as a battle I had to fight. I hated ranking every day
according to how good I had been: “Oh, I was good today!” Or
on a bad day: “Okay, today’s a baddy, so let’s just go for it. Let’s
go to the store and buy every cake, cookie, brownie, and flavor
of ice cream. No, don’t get chocolate! It has too many calories.
Get this one that’s fat-free—the vanilla bean ice-latte sorbetbanana-
sunshine. And now that you’re here, you might as well
try the passion fruit and the peach as well. Ah, screw it! Since
you’re getting all that, you might as well get the double fudge,
chocolate brownie, real ice cream. But don’t just get that one,
because today’s the day; if you’re going to do it, you might as
well try that other one you’ve been hankering for too.”

Wednesday October 20th 2010 - Hypnotherapy

Well the idea behind bariatric surgery is that it is a last resort. I tried veganism and I still workout, but I have never been through hypnotherapy, so I am trying to make a consultation appointment. I have delayed my appointment with the bariatric surgeon until I have given this hypnotherapy gobbley gook a try.

Tuesday October 19, 2010 - Next step: Realize-band

Sorry for slacking. I've been at war with a business relationship and the bipolar person inside me. Stress sometimes can elevate or create bipolar episodes and I had or am still having a very elongated episode. The mood swings and panic/anxiety attacks have been exhausting. I had decreased my Seroquel because it gives me horrible wiggly hands and feet when I'm trying to sleep. In addition, it can leave me groggy during the day, so I cut back... maybe too much. I have since started taking a higher dose, but still not as much as I was prescribed. I think it may be helping to pull me out of this episode which upsets me because I don't like the side effects. Plus, I was able to sleep 6 hours and feel refreshed. Now I will have to sleep at least 8 hours and I don't like it. Plus I felt sleepy today. Anyway, I have to get a grip so I can write. I can't be flipping out and writing well at the same time.

As far as the re-energized quest to get the Realize Band, I have an appointment with the surgeon on the 27th. In addition, I have to confirm that I actually do need to put $4,000 cash into a hospital escrow account. I think I could part with $2,000, but that leaves me an additional $2,000 before I can set the date. My insurance contributes $7500 and the procedure should only really cost about $10,000 but they have to have extra in the bank in case you have to stay in the hospital. Updates as they come. Daily once again once I get going with the procedure.

Thursday October 7th, 2010 - Colorado elections

Well, I thought it might be fun to rattle some political cages by suggesting that online education threatens the public school system. Everyone likes to call themselves the education God, but the truth is that their true colors come out when you ask them something of particular subset of education. I have found my interviews with the Colorado candidates interesting and revealing. Bob Kinsey is old school. He hate texting. Paul Fiorino supports the integrated model. and Buck, Tancredo, and Hickinlooper's camps have contacted me and I may get a few more responses in the morning.

Here is the story that kicked off my series on the politics of online education...
http://www.examiner.com/online-learning-in-denver/does-online-education-threaten-the-k-12-colorado-public-school-system

http://www.examiner.com/online-learning-in-denver/the-politics-of-colorado-online-education-u-s-senate-candidate-bob-kinsey

http://www.examiner.com/online-learning-in-denver/the-politics-of-online-education-colorado-gubernatorial-candidate-paul-fiorino