Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Thank you readers. This week the views past 18,000 Thank again. I'll be making more posts more frequently.
I'm bouncing around 352 and 351. I want to be securely under 350 before the end of the month. It should only take one good day at the gym and one good day of eating well.

I was doing great yesterday, but then I made fajitas for my parents and my family and I nibbled while I cooked so who know how much I actually are. Definitely over a 1/4 cup. I even snaked as I put washed the dishes. Bad bad boy.

My big news is my book about Nick. The teenager who goes through a hell of a year during his early bipolar onset. So far people that have read the manuscript have loved it. To day I'm polishing. I have given myself until the end of the month to go live and upload the final script as an eBook. After some research I have decided to set the online price at $5.57. It can be purchased from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Borders, and my site . There are some sample chapters up now.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

They changed the look of my blog post page... again. I swear they do it just to keep their jobs. Oh well, power to them.

This morning I weighed in at 352.8. It probably would have been .4 better, but I had already had some coffee and took my bipolar meds. That's not bad considering how bad I'd been during the bipolar episode. On April 24th I weighed in at 376. I should be at 352 or 351 flat or better tomorrow and that's a 25 pound loss in one month. Maybe I can really stick to it and go to the gym today to knock that down to a 25 pound loss.

If I can lose say 20 pounds in June and then 20 pounds in July, then I'll be at 312 by August 3rd. The lightest I've been since I started keeping track in 2008. AND 100 pounds lost for my first year anniversary. Truth be told, I think losing 80 pounds or more in one year is a big deal. I didn't get this fat overnight. I got it over the course of some odd 25 years.

I thought I finished my book yesterday, but now I see mechanical errors when I read them out loud. The book took forever and yesterday I read 13 pages to Cheri in 1/2 hour. It's a fast read. 200 pages and I think you could read the whole thing on one rainy afternoon. Oh well, I got the story out. If I can't find a publisher (should have one in NYC) then I'll self publish anyway. I'm rambling. See ya.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

I guess this will be short as I am working on unpacking, organizing and shelving some 200 of my favorite books. I may read a bit too much. My book "Night in Positano" is so close to finished that if I have a few days in the library to correct some tense issues and remind myself about the lines I used the first time Nick went into the hospital. So so close. It's already been edited several times. While part one. Part two still needs readers and editing.

Back to weight. I am currently at 354 and still losing weight pretty quickly. Near the being on this blog you can read about my adventure with vegetarianism and vegan. Vegan is okay for about three or four months but then it sucks. When I fell off vegetarianism I had already started gaining weight. Ultimately I decided to have the lapband surgery. All was good then my father in law died and we ate like crap on the road. And then came my hypo-manic bipolar episode. Worst since January 2008. I should have been in the hospital, but even three days gone messes up the family rhythm so I endured sleeping only 3 hours a night and didn't weigh myself. And that's how you can blow the surgery. Maybe I'm being repetitive. Bottom line is that I am 354 today and losing about .75 pounds a day. I bounce up a pound and bounce down a couple pounds, but I weigh myself every day. By the end of the month I should easily hit 350 and maybe even 345. All good and back on track. At first it was hard, but it's getting easier everyday. Need to hit the gym more.   

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Hello followers. I've been slacking because I had possibly the most immense prolonged bipolar episode in years. I was sleeping maybe 3 - 5 hours of sleep and having trouble reading and writing. I'm on wellburtron now and I've calmed down.

During this last episode I lost it. I began gaining weight and it was discouraging. I stayed off the scale and started eating almost normal. My body, hungry for calories, ate it up and I seem to have retain every ugly fat cell. Plus, then I hurt my following against some stairs in the snow, so I dropped out of the gym for a while and the end result was dangerous weight gain.

I imagine that I had gained so much weight that I scaled out at about 380; up from 330 at the beginning of the year. I don't know my exact weight because I didn't scale. My tight pants told me. I had to wear my biggest clothes again. As I was starting to get a grip on the episode and I know I lost some weight. When I went into the surgeon's office I scaled in at 376. Two weeks later and I weigh 366. I'm back on the diet. I'd like to lose 30 pounds by my one year anniversary August 3rd. Then I can say that I lost 80 pounds the first year. Still not bad weight loss. Should be and could have been better, but I messed up and now I'll have to settle. If I stick to the diet like glue I could do it and then some. It would be nice to be back to 330. My clothes all fit nicely.

Moral of the story... the lap-band is a tool. just a tool. You can mess it up. For now on I'll scale and track everyday. Check for progress reports.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Two miles in 28 minutes 13 seconds! Back down to lowest 330 and going.

During my weak holiday season I gained weight. At one point, when I am sure I was bloated, I weighed in at 340 around the last week in December. It was probably closer to 338; however, I have really been pounding it at the gym and eating proper especially after the surgeon tightened up my lapband a bit, so I'm pleased to say that I weighed in at 330 today. I would like to reach 320 by the end of the month.

Speaking of the gym, on October 28, 2011 I jogged/walked two miles in 31 mins and 20 seconds. I know that I had slower times, but I don't think I recorded them. On Thanksgiving, November 24th, I injured my back pushing my wife's van out of some snow. The pain showed up three days later and I failed to connect the dots. Nonetheless, I took my pain pills and muscle relaxants and went back to the gym on December 8th. I recorded two miles in exactly 31 minutes.

I missed the gym until the December15th and then I took a gym break to heal my back and my knees until January 5th, so I was basically starting over with the treadmill. Last week I managed to shave the two mile treadmill to 30 minutes and I thought that was as far as I could go at this point of my weight loss, but then on January 17th I ran the crap out of it and managed to run the two miles in exactly 29 minutes. I really thought I was going to collapse. Well, maybe not, but I was completely wasted tired. Yesterday I ran next to this guy that was literally outright running before I got there. He was drenched with sweat and obviously 130 pounds or more lighter than me. Nonetheless, it inspired me to push harder. I managed to pull out a 28.13 minute record! It doesn't sound like much, but compare it to the 31m 20s from Oct 28th before I had to take a gym break to heal.   If I can improve my record by a few seconds each time then I will probably be jogging the two miles in 25 minutes.

That day was not today. I had some McDonald's breakfast oatmeal with apples and raisins. The small cup size. Anyway, I ate it for lunch just before I went to the gym. I apparently can't run as hard after lunch. I ran 29m 47s. So far, Monday through Thursday night I have jogged 8 miles. Two more tomorrow morning and I will have hit my goal of 10 miles per week. Oh yeah; all that baking and poor eating during the holiday's are gone plus I reached a new low of 330. I really think I can hit 300 by March 2nd, but for sure by my birthday March 19th. The big 47 and I still feel like a kid playing grownup. 

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Worst bipolar episode in four years

I could feel it coming on and I thought that it might be the holiday blues, but it became more significant than that. My primary problem was three or four panic attacks. One was major and I seriously considered going into the mental health facility. I feel better now, but my emotions were flipping up and down so much everyday that it was wearing me down and then it made it easier to blow my cool. If you received one of my "episodic" email rants, I'm sorry. Next week I meet with my psychologist and I may have her change or increase some of my meds. Normally I would suggest a jump in seroquel, but I have those restless limb thing at night if I take too much. Actually, if someone wakes me up within the first four to five hours of my sleep, I can't get back to sleep because the restless feet and hand thing is there. Maybe another jump in lamictal and hydroxyzine. I wish I could take more lorazapam, but I think I'm at the limit. Maybe I could add something new?

During my bipolar episode, holiday cooking and baking, back injury, double knee injuries, and just plain not caring made me actually gain weight. Like 7 or 8 pounds since before Thanksgiving. I'm back in the gym now and trying to watch my calories and size of portions. I was super impressed when I walk/jogged 2 miles in 31 minutes some time ago and I have been carving that time down each week. I got it down to 30 minutes and thought that I couldn't do better until I was skinnier, but I continued to shave time and this morning I made 29 minutes flat! I jogged a quick pace on and off. I jogged the first five minutes which is my best continuous jog. I would like to jog the entire two miles at some point this spring. I'll probably have to increase my distance to three miles because I must jog for at least 30 minutes and then work on my upper body for an additional 30 minutes. I didn't go to the gym Saturday or Sunday because it's too busy, but I did go four days last week so I jogged eight miles. This week I have already jogged 4 miles so I should reach my weekly goal of 10 miles or more.

Oh yeah, I weighed in at 332 this morning on the doctor's scale which is as low as I have ever been, but I really should have lost about 12 more pounds in that time. Now I have to play catch up if I want to hit 299 - by my birthday on March 19. I've been real good for the last few days so I know I can do it and maybe since my body didn't lose a bunch of weight during this time, I might be able to kick into high gear and lose weight as rapidly as I did in the beginning. I would really like to be at 300 or less by March 1st. That's 44 days or so. That would be five pounds a week. I could do that. This morning I visited my surgeon and had another 3/4cc added to my adjustable lapband. That should also help since I should be tight enough to restrict my eating portions dramatically. Even now sitting here I have to drink slowly so the liquid can clear.

Friday, January 6, 2012

I cook my family (7 to 8 people depending) gourmet food almost every night

I still have a knot on my lower left back and I still feel tender, but I really needed to get back to the gym. I feel so much better, stronger, and more inspired to stick with the diet. It is so simple. Workout everyday for 30 minutes and only eat 1/4 cup of food three times a day. On days that I can accomplish that I lose at least a pound. Unfortunately there are distractions. I'm the cook and I make some incredible food, but some of it... okay, most of it is terribly fattening. I cook like Paul Dean. Butter, butter, cheese, heavy milk, ect...

Last night I grilled some salmon steaks marinated in a simple lemon lime butter sauce with some light Italian spices. I baked a small loaf of Tuscan hard crust bread. Steamed some spinach and made my own stuffed mushrooms (easy to make and a family favorite). The family loves pastries and my wife loves chocolate. She is barely over-weight and quite healthy. So I made some cream puffs with my favorite filling. I took some confectioners sugar, a package of vanilla pudding, heavy whipping cream, and about a cup of softened Nutella and whipped it for about eight to ten minutes until it had almost doubled in size. Then I stuffed the puffs and dusted the tops with powdered sugar. They were sinfully awesome. I made more than 30 and I am sure that if I check the garage refrigerator there might be one or tow or none left.

Tonight I am going to pressure cook some beef roast or something and braze some asparagus spears. I'll also cook some wild rice and make a salad. At some point today I will bake the weekends fresh white bread and bake several bread bowls for artichoke and spinach dip for Sunday's football game. I am also going to make some more smaller pastry puffs and fill them with a mushroom, cream cheese, burgundy, and walnut puree or something like that.

This week I have also made BBQ beef brisket, chimichongos, spare ribs, and... I can't remember cooking on Sunday. Anyway, this boy can cook which is ironic since I don't eat most of which I cook. I love my family and I like to feed them good home made dinners and, oh yeah, I forgot; I made monstrous breakfasts twice over the New Years weekend. I like making french toast out of home made rolls sliced or homemade bread. Killer good.

Back to the gym. On Wednesday I went in as a test run and jog/walked two miles in a record breaking 30 minutes and 27 seconds. Thursday 30 M 13 S. This morning 30m 27s. So  I've already jogged six miles this week and I'm feeling great. I haven't touch weights because my back is still if'y. I should be able to do Sat and Sun to give me ten miles this week. This morning I ate a small bowl of cream of wheat and I'll probably pouch an egg for lunch. I'll eat whatever protein I end up cooking tonight. Now, I'm going to work on my book.   

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

New Year's Resolutions

Okay, I'm not really playing fair here. If I said, "I want to lose 20 pounds," I would really be talking about what I'm actually going to lose in January. Here, try this; "I resolve to lose 140 pounds this year." That would be stupid, right? Wrong. I will lose 140 pounds this year. What was once a fantasy is now reality.

No one, including skinny people, could possibly imagine the euphoria of losing this much weight. A new car doesn't feel the same. Maybe a new love, but even still, one wouldn't really know if the relationship would stick for the rest of ones life; however, I know that the weight that I lose will be gone forever.

That being said, the month of December is proof that adjustable lapband surgery is not full proof. Maybe gastric bypass is, but anyone, including me, can blow an opportunity and that is what this lapband is. It is an opportunity to change your life.

This is how you screw up a whole month of losing weight. Wait for it.... I spent the entire month of December baking, cooking, and candy making for friends, family and, unfortunately, for myself. Fudge is my mistress and my enemy. I love fudge. Especially the white chocolate pecan fudge I invented. Well, I didn't invent it, but I did come up with my recipe without a recipe.

I ate like anyone else at Christmas and now I must pay, but a contributing factor to my weight stagnation (zero lost, only a few added) was injuries to my knees and then that weird unexplained back injury. I'm still wearing a back brace and nursing the knot in my lower left side so I haven't been to the gym in weeks if not the month of December.

The ideal recipe for losing this much weight entails prescribed eating (1/4 cup of stuff that doesn't get stuck at the lapband) and working out. Now, everyone should know that a two hour workout equals about the lose in calories of a doughnut... with filling and frosting and I digress and am now hungry for a doughnut. The real reason you need to work out is so that you feel energetic and fit. Along with the weight loss the muscle building makes me euphoric. Speaking of the gym, I went there earlier today to see if my back brace can protect me from further injury if I only walk fast on the treadmill, but the gym was packed with old folks taking classes like working your butt off to the oldies. They should be gone by now so I should probably go back and try to walk two miles on the treadmill. No basketball or weights. I wouldn't even try to swim today for fear of further extending my back recovery. With that, good night and good luck. And a Happy New Year. ~ Christopher