Sorry for the length between posts. I will start using this as a daily journal again starting today. I have a lot going on right now and I am spending the greater part of each day writing articles and wishing I was writing the book.
A few days before, during, and after the election I had a huge surge in readership. This week I had over 10,000 reads. Unreal. Just thinking about that many people reading my articles was a shot of adrenalin. My reads have stabilized at about 200 reads per day for both columns combined, but I am very competitive so I will continue to try to increase that average. I would like to have 300-500 reads per day and that takes good relevant articles. It is the same as this blog. If you don't write consistently, then your readership drops.
This coming week Cheri and I are going out to NYC to meet with our gallery and film distributors to try to establish a unified strategy for the future. We are a little cautious, but eager to proceed. The highlight of our four day trip will certainly be going to the Broadway show Addams Family with Nathan Lane. Very excited about that. Today I have to prepare a portfolio of information so we can make the best use of our time. I will be borrowing my sister's laptop so I should be able to write this blog.
At this point, I am writing two blogs, two Examiner columns, and the book. Soon I will add to that three additional weekly columns for a new publishing company. I am writing more than 6,000 words per week which doesn't sound like much, but the columns have to be well researched, cited, and concise. Concise is not so easy for me. Take this post. I've only been writing it for about 15 minutes and I already have what looks like 500 words. Free writing is easy. Concise writing is harder.
I went to my second hypnotherapy appointment this week. She is a good therapist even without the hypnosis, so the hypnosis is kind of a bonus. This week we continued to work on issues that have been bothering me for years. It is very healthy and the hypnosis is very relaxing. Either I fell into a deeper trance this week or I fell asleep. HA! Maybe that's what hypnosis is supposed to feel like. I don't know what normal is.
My diet has been crappy, but I'm starting to gear up to go back into healthy eating. I think I will have greater success with the hypnosis backup. At least I hope I will.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Monday October 25th 2010 - Sunrise Hypnotherapy
Today was my first appointment with Paula C. at the Hypnotherapy. We went through a lot of definitions and introduction stuff. She gave me a CD to get used to her voice. Kind of funny, but I like her. She isn't all crystal and rock worship. She was about energy and spirituality and didn't stomp on my inclusive Christianity. I feel safe with her, but tired so, for once, I am going to cut this short. I have an appointment for my first hypnotism ever. I love new stuff. I can't wait. At some point I want to try acupuncture.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Thursday October 21, 2010 - the Gabriel Method
I started to read this "Gabriel Method" book and I completely understand his "how I got so damn fat" story. We'll have to see how it goes. I will probably try this along with the hypnotherapy.
The Gabriel Method is the revolutionary new
DIET-FREE way to get fit by getting your
body to want to be thin.
Idistinctly remember the moment that changed my life forever.
It happened in August of 2001. I weighed close to 410 pounds.
Over the previous twelve years, I had gained more than 200
pounds.
I had just gotten off Route 4 in New Jersey at the Paramus /
River Edge exit. As I was getting off the exit, a thought stunned
me like an electric shock: “My body wanted to be fat, and as
long as it wanted to be fat, there was nothing I could do to lose
weight.” I turned onto the nearest side street and just sat there in
my car.
Not another thought came into my head for the next twenty
minutes.
During the twelve years in which I gained two hundred
pounds, I had tried everything I could to lose weight, including
every diet under the sun—from low-fat diets to low-carb diets
and everything in between. I had spent time at both Nathan Pritikin’s
institute in California and with the late Dr. Atkins himself
in New York.
I spent over three thousand dollars with Dr. Atkins, and
in the end, the best he could do was yell at me for being so fat.
I also spent several other small fortunes on every conceivable
holistic cure and alternative health treatment available. No matter
what I did, my body continued to gain weight.
Every diet or program I went on always followed the exact
same pattern. It started with my having to count something—
calories, fat, carbohydrates, salt, whatever—and a list of things I
xiii
could not have. I followed the diet to the letter. I usually lost
weight quickly in the beginning, but then the rate at which I
lost weight would start to slow. Eventually, I stopped losing
weight altogether. At that point, I was dieting, not to lose weight,
but simply to maintain my current weight.
All the while my cravings for the foods that I was not
allowed to have escalated. Discouraged and dejected, there
would come a time when I was just too exhausted to fight my
cravings anymore, and I would binge. Weight that had taken me
a month or so to lose came back in just a matter of days. A few
weeks later, I was invariably 10 to 15 pounds heavier than when
I had started the diet.
No matter what I did to try to lose weight, my body fought
me tooth and nail, and in the end, it always won. After years of
banging my head against the wall and trying to force myself to
lose weight, I had to concede that, as long as my body wanted
to be fat, the situation was hopeless.
From the moment I made this realization, I renounced dieting
forever. I decided that instead of trying to force myself to lose
weight against my body’s will, I would turn my attention toward
understanding why my body wanted to be fat in the first place.
I then went on a quest for real answers. I spent hours a day
learning everything I could about biochemistry, nutrition, neurobiology,
and psychology. In the eighties, I attended The Warton
School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania. While I
was at Wharton, I became very interested in biochemistry and
took a full curriculum of biology courses. I also did a year of
research into cholesterol synthesis with Dr. Jose Rabinowitz at
the VA medical hospital in Philadelphia. This gave me a solid
enough background in biochemistry to make sense of all the
current obesity research.
I plowed through twenty or thirty research reports a day, and
after reading several hundred—if not a thousand—research
reports, I rapidly became an expert in the most cutting-edge
chemistry of obesity and weight loss. I also studied meditation,
hypnosis, neuro-linguistic programming, psycho-linguistics, Thought
Field Therapy, Tai Chi, Chi Kung, and the field of consciousness
Introduction
xiv
research. I even studied quantum physics. I was convinced that
the answers lay somewhere between the space that separates the
mind from the body.
But more than anything, I started studying my own body.
I stopped seeing it as the enemy that just wouldn’t listen to
me. I realized my problem was not my body but my lack of
understanding how to operate it. From that moment on, I
started listening to my body very closely. I also stopped trying
to push it around and force it to do something against its will.
Instead, I became its student, and as a result, I started learning
from my body.
Because I became a receptive student, my body became a
highly effective teacher. It taught me why it wanted to be fat and
what I would have to do to make it want to be thin.
As soon as I understood that there were reasons why my body
wanted to be fat, I stopped dieting. What was the point of trying
to diet if it was not going to solve the problem? I later discovered
that not only does dieting not work, but if your body already
wants to be fat, dieting will only make it want to be fatter.
Giving up dieting forever was the greatest and most liberating
thing I had ever done.
I hated dieting.
I hated being so obsessed with food and treating every hunger
signal as a battle I had to fight. I hated ranking every day
according to how good I had been: “Oh, I was good today!” Or
on a bad day: “Okay, today’s a baddy, so let’s just go for it. Let’s
go to the store and buy every cake, cookie, brownie, and flavor
of ice cream. No, don’t get chocolate! It has too many calories.
Get this one that’s fat-free—the vanilla bean ice-latte sorbetbanana-
sunshine. And now that you’re here, you might as well
try the passion fruit and the peach as well. Ah, screw it! Since
you’re getting all that, you might as well get the double fudge,
chocolate brownie, real ice cream. But don’t just get that one,
because today’s the day; if you’re going to do it, you might as
well try that other one you’ve been hankering for too.”
The Gabriel Method is the revolutionary new
DIET-FREE way to get fit by getting your
body to want to be thin.
Idistinctly remember the moment that changed my life forever.
It happened in August of 2001. I weighed close to 410 pounds.
Over the previous twelve years, I had gained more than 200
pounds.
I had just gotten off Route 4 in New Jersey at the Paramus /
River Edge exit. As I was getting off the exit, a thought stunned
me like an electric shock: “My body wanted to be fat, and as
long as it wanted to be fat, there was nothing I could do to lose
weight.” I turned onto the nearest side street and just sat there in
my car.
Not another thought came into my head for the next twenty
minutes.
During the twelve years in which I gained two hundred
pounds, I had tried everything I could to lose weight, including
every diet under the sun—from low-fat diets to low-carb diets
and everything in between. I had spent time at both Nathan Pritikin’s
institute in California and with the late Dr. Atkins himself
in New York.
I spent over three thousand dollars with Dr. Atkins, and
in the end, the best he could do was yell at me for being so fat.
I also spent several other small fortunes on every conceivable
holistic cure and alternative health treatment available. No matter
what I did, my body continued to gain weight.
Every diet or program I went on always followed the exact
same pattern. It started with my having to count something—
calories, fat, carbohydrates, salt, whatever—and a list of things I
xiii
could not have. I followed the diet to the letter. I usually lost
weight quickly in the beginning, but then the rate at which I
lost weight would start to slow. Eventually, I stopped losing
weight altogether. At that point, I was dieting, not to lose weight,
but simply to maintain my current weight.
All the while my cravings for the foods that I was not
allowed to have escalated. Discouraged and dejected, there
would come a time when I was just too exhausted to fight my
cravings anymore, and I would binge. Weight that had taken me
a month or so to lose came back in just a matter of days. A few
weeks later, I was invariably 10 to 15 pounds heavier than when
I had started the diet.
No matter what I did to try to lose weight, my body fought
me tooth and nail, and in the end, it always won. After years of
banging my head against the wall and trying to force myself to
lose weight, I had to concede that, as long as my body wanted
to be fat, the situation was hopeless.
From the moment I made this realization, I renounced dieting
forever. I decided that instead of trying to force myself to lose
weight against my body’s will, I would turn my attention toward
understanding why my body wanted to be fat in the first place.
I then went on a quest for real answers. I spent hours a day
learning everything I could about biochemistry, nutrition, neurobiology,
and psychology. In the eighties, I attended The Warton
School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania. While I
was at Wharton, I became very interested in biochemistry and
took a full curriculum of biology courses. I also did a year of
research into cholesterol synthesis with Dr. Jose Rabinowitz at
the VA medical hospital in Philadelphia. This gave me a solid
enough background in biochemistry to make sense of all the
current obesity research.
I plowed through twenty or thirty research reports a day, and
after reading several hundred—if not a thousand—research
reports, I rapidly became an expert in the most cutting-edge
chemistry of obesity and weight loss. I also studied meditation,
hypnosis, neuro-linguistic programming, psycho-linguistics, Thought
Field Therapy, Tai Chi, Chi Kung, and the field of consciousness
Introduction
xiv
research. I even studied quantum physics. I was convinced that
the answers lay somewhere between the space that separates the
mind from the body.
But more than anything, I started studying my own body.
I stopped seeing it as the enemy that just wouldn’t listen to
me. I realized my problem was not my body but my lack of
understanding how to operate it. From that moment on, I
started listening to my body very closely. I also stopped trying
to push it around and force it to do something against its will.
Instead, I became its student, and as a result, I started learning
from my body.
Because I became a receptive student, my body became a
highly effective teacher. It taught me why it wanted to be fat and
what I would have to do to make it want to be thin.
As soon as I understood that there were reasons why my body
wanted to be fat, I stopped dieting. What was the point of trying
to diet if it was not going to solve the problem? I later discovered
that not only does dieting not work, but if your body already
wants to be fat, dieting will only make it want to be fatter.
Giving up dieting forever was the greatest and most liberating
thing I had ever done.
I hated dieting.
I hated being so obsessed with food and treating every hunger
signal as a battle I had to fight. I hated ranking every day
according to how good I had been: “Oh, I was good today!” Or
on a bad day: “Okay, today’s a baddy, so let’s just go for it. Let’s
go to the store and buy every cake, cookie, brownie, and flavor
of ice cream. No, don’t get chocolate! It has too many calories.
Get this one that’s fat-free—the vanilla bean ice-latte sorbetbanana-
sunshine. And now that you’re here, you might as well
try the passion fruit and the peach as well. Ah, screw it! Since
you’re getting all that, you might as well get the double fudge,
chocolate brownie, real ice cream. But don’t just get that one,
because today’s the day; if you’re going to do it, you might as
well try that other one you’ve been hankering for too.”
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Wednesday October 20th 2010 - Hypnotherapy
Well the idea behind bariatric surgery is that it is a last resort. I tried veganism and I still workout, but I have never been through hypnotherapy, so I am trying to make a consultation appointment. I have delayed my appointment with the bariatric surgeon until I have given this hypnotherapy gobbley gook a try.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Tuesday October 19, 2010 - Next step: Realize-band
Sorry for slacking. I've been at war with a business relationship and the bipolar person inside me. Stress sometimes can elevate or create bipolar episodes and I had or am still having a very elongated episode. The mood swings and panic/anxiety attacks have been exhausting. I had decreased my Seroquel because it gives me horrible wiggly hands and feet when I'm trying to sleep. In addition, it can leave me groggy during the day, so I cut back... maybe too much. I have since started taking a higher dose, but still not as much as I was prescribed. I think it may be helping to pull me out of this episode which upsets me because I don't like the side effects. Plus, I was able to sleep 6 hours and feel refreshed. Now I will have to sleep at least 8 hours and I don't like it. Plus I felt sleepy today. Anyway, I have to get a grip so I can write. I can't be flipping out and writing well at the same time.
As far as the re-energized quest to get the Realize Band, I have an appointment with the surgeon on the 27th. In addition, I have to confirm that I actually do need to put $4,000 cash into a hospital escrow account. I think I could part with $2,000, but that leaves me an additional $2,000 before I can set the date. My insurance contributes $7500 and the procedure should only really cost about $10,000 but they have to have extra in the bank in case you have to stay in the hospital. Updates as they come. Daily once again once I get going with the procedure.
As far as the re-energized quest to get the Realize Band, I have an appointment with the surgeon on the 27th. In addition, I have to confirm that I actually do need to put $4,000 cash into a hospital escrow account. I think I could part with $2,000, but that leaves me an additional $2,000 before I can set the date. My insurance contributes $7500 and the procedure should only really cost about $10,000 but they have to have extra in the bank in case you have to stay in the hospital. Updates as they come. Daily once again once I get going with the procedure.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Thursday October 7th, 2010 - Colorado elections
Well, I thought it might be fun to rattle some political cages by suggesting that online education threatens the public school system. Everyone likes to call themselves the education God, but the truth is that their true colors come out when you ask them something of particular subset of education. I have found my interviews with the Colorado candidates interesting and revealing. Bob Kinsey is old school. He hate texting. Paul Fiorino supports the integrated model. and Buck, Tancredo, and Hickinlooper's camps have contacted me and I may get a few more responses in the morning.
Here is the story that kicked off my series on the politics of online education...
http://www.examiner.com/online-learning-in-denver/does-online-education-threaten-the-k-12-colorado-public-school-system
http://www.examiner.com/online-learning-in-denver/the-politics-of-colorado-online-education-u-s-senate-candidate-bob-kinsey
http://www.examiner.com/online-learning-in-denver/the-politics-of-online-education-colorado-gubernatorial-candidate-paul-fiorino
Here is the story that kicked off my series on the politics of online education...
http://www.examiner.com/online-learning-in-denver/does-online-education-threaten-the-k-12-colorado-public-school-system
http://www.examiner.com/online-learning-in-denver/the-politics-of-colorado-online-education-u-s-senate-candidate-bob-kinsey
http://www.examiner.com/online-learning-in-denver/the-politics-of-online-education-colorado-gubernatorial-candidate-paul-fiorino
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Saturday October 2, 2010 - The baby made me sick
I don't feel good. Head cold, cough, sore throat, and fever. I sound like a stupid commercial. All diet bets are off when I'm sick. Although, my diet consisted of granola, bagel, and home made chicken soup. I napped earlier and now I need another. nite
Here are the last two stories I wrote for the examiner
http://www.examiner.com/online-learning-in-denver/the-online-education-strategy-for-colorado-s-unemployed
http://www.examiner.com/online-learning-in-denver/free-online-college-education-for-colorado-public-high-school-students
Here are the last two stories I wrote for the examiner
http://www.examiner.com/online-learning-in-denver/the-online-education-strategy-for-colorado-s-unemployed
http://www.examiner.com/online-learning-in-denver/free-online-college-education-for-colorado-public-high-school-students
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Wednesday 29th 2010 - Self publishing
My diet has been crap, but my cooking has been smashing! Seriously, I'm having trouble resisting food. If I don't get a grip, I am liable to gain way to much weight, as if any extra weight is acceptable. I have been thinking about the surgery. As I collect the larger checks that I should be getting from the art sales, I will set some aside. I think I should have about $3,000 to go with my insurance. Then I will begin the process. I guess my old doctor and nutrition letters are out of date.
A friend recommended that i look into Lulu.com which is a self-publishing site. Check it out. I think I may do that. At least for the e-book. Now, I really want to finish the book. I'd like it to be available by Christmas or the spring. I don't suppose it would matter too much. ASAP. I'll stick to that.
I have, to date, written 18 articles for examiner.com. The last three are listed here...
http://www.examiner.com/online-learning-in-denver/denver-s-automotive-service-pros-are-using-online-training-for-ase-certification
http://www.examiner.com/online-learning-in-denver/csu-s-online-green-building-and-leed-prep-certification-program-begins-today
http://www.examiner.com/online-learning-in-denver/csu-s-online-green-building-and-leed-prep-certification-program-begins-today
A friend recommended that i look into Lulu.com which is a self-publishing site. Check it out. I think I may do that. At least for the e-book. Now, I really want to finish the book. I'd like it to be available by Christmas or the spring. I don't suppose it would matter too much. ASAP. I'll stick to that.
I have, to date, written 18 articles for examiner.com. The last three are listed here...
http://www.examiner.com/online-learning-in-denver/denver-s-automotive-service-pros-are-using-online-training-for-ase-certification
http://www.examiner.com/online-learning-in-denver/csu-s-online-green-building-and-leed-prep-certification-program-begins-today
http://www.examiner.com/online-learning-in-denver/csu-s-online-green-building-and-leed-prep-certification-program-begins-today
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Saturday September 25th, 2010 - First Chapter of my book Positano
Today's post is my first chapter of my book Positano. I've completed about 30 chapters, but I had to rewrite the first five chapters to reflect a tragedy that happens later in the book. Let me know if you like it. You can the first four chapters at http://www.paulsharits.com/positano.htm
Chapter One
Suicide. It runs in my family. It runs through my blood. Merely speaking the word sends shivers down the backs of anyone within ear shot. They are watching me; always watching me. I don’t know what they expect. It is all around me. You hear it on the news every day. I talk about it with my therapist twice a week. It’s as much a part of me as I am a part of it. They tell me not to think about. My mom says, “Honey, don’t talk about it. Let it go.” She might as well say don’t breath. Suicide. There, I said it again.
I don’t want to die. I know I have a long and beautiful life ahead of me. I have a girlfriend and my life is rebuilding, but, still, it’s there. They don’t understand the difference of awareness and honesty as opposed to the verb. It is an irrefutable part of me. It’s forever in my core. I can’t stop it. The very act or thought of suicide is lurking deep in the dark damp recesses of my mind where no one dares to travel just waiting to strike.
I know the road to death. It is littered with hopelessness, isolation, humiliation, hate, loneliness, loss, and confusion. That night; on that night I felt all of those things. By God’s good grace and caring hand, I failed, but I can’t erase that moment. I hear the gentle waves lapping up the black pebble beach. Swish; swish goes the deep blue sea below me. My crying eyes burn with every salty gust of warm wind. The moon is so beautiful vicariously hanging above the shimmering and endless water. I’ve slowed my panting and I take one final deep breath. I slowly close my eyes and let one foot free. I’m not scared. I can do it. One more step as I felt my body lunge forward and my last foot slipping off of the earth and dangling in the wind as I slowly spin around seeing the surf then the sky then back to the earth.
Pain. I was paralyzed with pain. It hurt to hear, but I could hear. I could hear the ghosts swarming around me speaking in Italian. Then everything went black. I rose again and painfully opened my eyes. I was in a blindingly white room with the rhythmic sound of beep, beep, beep. I couldn’t swallow. Something was in my throat. I could move my arms or feet. They were being held. It hurt to flex my fingers. I realized I was in a hospital. The rhythmic beep was now in a chase as it quickened into a beep beep beep, then I heard people rushing into the room; again speaking in Italian. Then an angel bent down to my ear and said, “It’s going to be okay poor bambino. Just sleep. You’re safe.” My eyes grew blurry and I feel into a half consciousness. I could hear people, then black.
How can I forget that? Seriously; how does one forget that? I’m writing this story today because my therapist said it would be good to write it down and then throw it away. I’ll write the story because I need to. I’ll write the story because I can. I just hope; no I pray, I beg for peace. I just want some quiet. Is that too much to ask?
Sometimes when that moment of terrifying reflection subsides, I wonder what it would have been like to die. Was it as painful as living? Does your light just gracefully fade or do you hang around a while like ghosts in movies? What is heaven really like? I’m sure it’s not like sitting on some stupid cloud looking down at all of the fools. It has occurred to me that I could have gone to hell. That’s what the Catholic Church says. If you take your life into your own hands and deny God’s will you have committed a mortal sin again God. So then I wonder what hell could be like. I seriously doubt that there is any fire involved. Maybe you are cursed to revisit all of your sins and watch the world around your crumble over and over again for all eternity. That would really suck.
I was raised in the church. I’ve been told that God is a loving God and he doesn’t give you more than you can handle. That’s wrong. I couldn’t handle it then and I can barely handle it now. Maybe God does love me. Maybe Jesus died for my sins. Maybe God saved me. Although I live in fear, I am much better than I was two years ago. I’ll go with the God loves you thing, because it comforts me.
I’m free to talk about my new found faith, but not about death. About a year ago I felt compelled to start an anonymous blog. I called it “Suicide Interrupted” and I didn’t use my name or anything that could connect me to this poor soul. However, I did mention it to my best friend and he felt he had to tell my parents and they told my therapist. I tried to explain that the blog was an homage to death, but they put me back into the hospital. They took my clothes; they took my shoe laces and they checked in on me every 15 minutes. For the first 72 hours I didn’t see anyone except for my parents and nurses. I was there for a week. In some weird way, the mental ward is a comforting safe place. They tell you when to eat, when to sleep, when to do anything, but it’s safe. I still wouldn’t recommend publishing a blog.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Friday September 24th 2010 - Productive day whew
I've been thinking about it and talking to my wife. As soon as I can afford it, in a couple of months, I will go back in and start the process for bariatric surgery. I definitely prefer the Realize-band. http://www.realize.com/ .
I will chronicalize every step.
Today I did everything, but make it to the gym. I wrote and published two articles...http://www.examiner.com/online-learning-in-denver/west-metro-fire-training-center-s-2nd-annual-open-house-on-october-2nd-2010 and http://www.examiner.com/online-learning-in-denver/defend-yourself-against-slimy-virus-programmers-and-online-scam-criminals .
Tonight I am going to indulge myself by writing my book after I finish the laundry, make dinner, go to the store, pick up my son from work, take a pee. Oh, got do that one right now.
I will chronicalize every step.
Today I did everything, but make it to the gym. I wrote and published two articles...http://www.examiner.com/online-learning-in-denver/west-metro-fire-training-center-s-2nd-annual-open-house-on-october-2nd-2010 and http://www.examiner.com/online-learning-in-denver/defend-yourself-against-slimy-virus-programmers-and-online-scam-criminals .
Tonight I am going to indulge myself by writing my book after I finish the laundry, make dinner, go to the store, pick up my son from work, take a pee. Oh, got do that one right now.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Thursday September 23rd, 2010 - Examiner article on bariatric surgery
I decided to write an article for the Examiner on bariatric surgery -
Obesity in Denver – Find the facts and the best Denver surgeons online
Losing weight is easy. Consume fewer calories than you burn and you will lose weight. Yeah right. Dr. Richard Tillquist from Colorado Bariatric Surgery in Englewood said, “Most people can stick to a diet for up to a year, but very few can stick with it beyond that.”
Take a look around. See any overweight people? Believe it or not Colorado is one of the fittest states in the union. According to The National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion (CDC), Mississippi is the fattest state with 35% obese (adults) while Colorado is the fittest state with only 19% obese.
Obesity is the leading preventable cause of death worldwide. Childhood obesity is on the rise at an alarming rate. Obesity has been linked to diabetes, heart disease, hypertension and stroke as well as certain kinds of cancer.
Obviously a low calorie diet and exercise is the best way to lose weight, but for hundreds of obese people in Denver losing weight is more frustrating then I-25 during rush hour. For those people who are experts on losing and gaining back weight, weight loss surgery may be an option.
The first thing that people need to know is theirBody Mass Index (BMI). If your BMI is greater than 40, then you are considered to be morbidly obese and surgery should be considered. Types of weight loss surgery range from the rather invasive gastric bypass to the lathroscopic “Lab-band®” or “Realize-band®.” To learn more about each type of surgery, consult WebMD.com.
There are over 40 bariatric surgeons in Colorado. Check with your health care insurance on plan coverage. Most surgeons can offer or refer you to various financing options. Most insurance will only apply benefits to surgeons with the “Center of Excellence” designation. To find a qualified surgeon in your area, visithttp://www.gastricsurgeon.com/doctors/colorado .
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Wednesday September 22nd, 2010 - Bariatric Surgery
When I started this blog it was to track and follow my bariatric surgery. I had jumped through the hoops with my insurance who would pay up to $7,500 and I had passed the psychiatric evaluation. I had already been cleared by my surgeon, Richard Tillquist from Swedish Medical Center Englewood Colorado, and I was ready to set a date.
I wasn't comfortable with surgery so I tried to lose the weight myself. On July 4th, 2009 I became a vegan. That lasted one year and I had lost 37 pounds, but I was already gaining it back by July 4th, 2010. I have been vocally against surgery unless the weight was life threatening.
Lately I have been trying to psych myself out so that I could start losing weight, but I take one step forward and two steps backwards. I am still gaining weight.
It is time to reconsider bariatric "Realize-Band" lathroscopic surgery. This will be day one: Research. Now I have already been down this road so I know as much as a physician would know, but I'll start from scratch for you. So, day one research
First finding; New insurance, Anthem HMO Colorado will also pay $7500 towards the surgery.
60% for the facility and 40% for the surgeon.
In the next post I will paste my Examiner.com article on bariatric surgery
I wasn't comfortable with surgery so I tried to lose the weight myself. On July 4th, 2009 I became a vegan. That lasted one year and I had lost 37 pounds, but I was already gaining it back by July 4th, 2010. I have been vocally against surgery unless the weight was life threatening.
Lately I have been trying to psych myself out so that I could start losing weight, but I take one step forward and two steps backwards. I am still gaining weight.
It is time to reconsider bariatric "Realize-Band" lathroscopic surgery. This will be day one: Research. Now I have already been down this road so I know as much as a physician would know, but I'll start from scratch for you. So, day one research
First finding; New insurance, Anthem HMO Colorado will also pay $7500 towards the surgery.
60% for the facility and 40% for the surgeon.
In the next post I will paste my Examiner.com article on bariatric surgery
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Tuesday September 21, 2010 - Working diet
Well, today my diet was much better. Perhaps a bit too much bread at dinner. I had three slices with light butter. However, tonight's dinner was steamed mussels and asparagus, so it's overall value was high. Today was paperwork and follow-up day which cost me my gym time. I really need to get into the gym tomorrow. It helps me remember to hold down my calories.
Opps. Almost forgot another "bad" from last night. I take my bipolar medication, Seroquel, right as I am falling to sleep because it gives me twitchy arms and legs. If I take it at the last minute, I usually sleep through the twitches, however, if I wake up prematurely, the only way to calm them down so I can fall back to sleep is to walk upstairs and get a snack. I did that last night because I needed every minute of sleep I could get. Sometimes I sacrifice my diet for sleep. Bad. Bad. Bad.
Today's follow up(s) were all about collecting $$$. A little here, a little in Spain, a little in Oklahoma, and a little in NYC. At this particular juncture it all helps.
Today I wrote an article for the Examiner on the 2010 Colorado State Ballot Measures. Four of them are absolutely insane. Check it out...
Confused? Alarmed? Research the 2010 Colorado ballot measures online
Opps. Almost forgot another "bad" from last night. I take my bipolar medication, Seroquel, right as I am falling to sleep because it gives me twitchy arms and legs. If I take it at the last minute, I usually sleep through the twitches, however, if I wake up prematurely, the only way to calm them down so I can fall back to sleep is to walk upstairs and get a snack. I did that last night because I needed every minute of sleep I could get. Sometimes I sacrifice my diet for sleep. Bad. Bad. Bad.
Today's follow up(s) were all about collecting $$$. A little here, a little in Spain, a little in Oklahoma, and a little in NYC. At this particular juncture it all helps.
Today I wrote an article for the Examiner on the 2010 Colorado State Ballot Measures. Four of them are absolutely insane. Check it out...
Confused? Alarmed? Research the 2010 Colorado ballot measures online
How much do you really know about this year’s Colorado ballot measures? Did you know there are three measures that could reportedly bankrupt the state? Did you know that Amendment 62 redefines a “person” to include the unborn biologically developed?
This year the State ballot measures may eclipse the gubernatorial vote. Why? First, the potential impact of the ballot measures to the State of Colorado is huge and second, national statistics estimate that only 37% of all voting-age citizens vote in midterm elections, thus, leaving these monumental measures to be decide by a small minority of voters.
The following list is a summary of each of the State ballot measures followed by official Colorado State and non-profit, non-partisan links detailing the measures:
- Amendment P: Regulation of Games of Chance -
Transfers the licensing and oversight of games of chance, such as bingo and raffles, from the Department of State to the Department of Revenue which already regulates casinos and Colorado State Lottery. - Amendment Q: Temporary Location for the State Seat of Government –Allows the governor to designate a temporary meeting location for state seat of government in cases of disaster emergencies.
- Amendment R: Exempt Possessory Interests in Real Property -
Eliminates property taxes for individuals or businesses that use government-owned property for a private benefit worth $6,000 or less in market value. - Amendment 60: Property Tax -
Increases the impact of the 1992 Taxpayer’s Bill of Rights (TABOR) by requiring school districts to cut property tax by half by 2020 and recover the loss from state funds. - Amendment 61: Limits on State and Local Government Borrowing -
Prohibits the State government from borrowing money and limits the local government from borrowing money unless approved by the voters. - Amendment 62: Application of the Term “Person” -
Changes the term “person” in all Colorado constitution provisions that address inalienable rights, equality of justice, and due process to include every human being from the moment of biological development. - Amendment 63: Health Care Choice -
Adds health care choice to the bill of rights in the Colorado Constitution, thus, prohibiting the State from requiring or enforcing State requirements that a person participate in a public or private health care plan. The measure does not supersede the federal government’s ability to require coverage. - Proposition 101: Income, Vehicle, and Telecommunication Taxes and Fees -
Gradually, over time, reduces state income tax from 4.63% to 3.5%. When fully implemented, it will reduce or eliminate State sales taxes and/or fees on vehicle sales, leases, and rentals. In addition, it will eliminate State and local sales tax and other fees for any telecommunications services, except for 911 fees. - Proposition 102: Criteria for Release to Pretrial Services Programs -
Allows only a first time offender of a nonviolent misdemeanor to be released on an unsecured bond to the supervision of a pretrial services program.
Official 2010 State Ballot Information Booklethttp://www.colorado.gov/cs/Satellite?blobcol=urldata&blobheader=application/pdf&blobkey=id&blobtable=MungoBlobs&blobwhere=1251656388879&ssbinary=true
Colorado State Ballot Measures – Project Vote Smart (PVS) is a non-profit, non-partisan research orghttp://www.votesmart.org/election_ballot_measures.php?state_id=CO&go2.x=9&go2.y=8&dist=
If passed, Colorado 2010 Amendments 60, 61, and 101 will have a profound effect on the budget as well as public education.
If passed, Amendment 62 will not only have implications on future abortions measures, but also on certain forms of birth control, women’s health care choices, stem cell research, miscarriages, property rights, and potential inheritance rights.
Vote smart. Research the arguments and implications online.
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Saturday, September 18, 2010
Saturday night September 18th, 2010 - Writings
Bipolar disorder. I just read my last post. Perhaps a bit personal, but I find honesty alluring. Some days I'll wake up stoked and other days I'll wake up in a panic. I have a lot of anxiety dreams that end in horror. Not the best way to start the day. I would say they all happen just before I wake, but that would only be because the ones that you wake with stick in your mind. Sometimes I really have a hard time shaking them off. Especially if I have dreams of betrayal. I wake up paranoid and suspicious, but those dreams are not reflexive of reality. When I can't shake a nightmare I usually try to think of something happy. And what is the happiest thing? Sex. Yes, a moment of blissful thinking knocks me right out it.
Of course there are other days where I wake up charged and ready to kick some butt. I rush through my morning routine as fast as possible so I can begin doing what I love... writing. I write so many different things. Blogs, articles, commentaries, non-fiction, fiction... I'll write just about anything for $$$ or just for the fun of it. I was great in grad school. Most of it is about reading and writing. To be honest, I coasted at DU's GSIS and at AIU. Well, actually, I coasted through my undergrad as well. I graduated sum cum laude with a 3.9 something.
So I'm good at two things... writing and school. I'm pretty good at teaching as well, but I suck at car repair. I am pretty good with my hands and my compulsive perfectionism helps me when I construct walls and paint.
Painting artwork comes from somewhere else. I have a vision that sticks with me and I have to paint it in order to get it out of my head. I have one now that I am going to have to paint soon. I may or may not use my heavily textured method. This particular painting simply requires streaks of tonality. I couldn't explain it in words, but I alway marvel at the finished product. I stand back and, oh my God, it looks exactly as it did in my head. Now sign it and move on.
So what were we talking about? Fat and non-linear thinking. The difference between bipolars and normal people is that our mood swings are much more extreme. They consider bipolarity a biological phenomena. As such, most, if not all, health insurance companies classify bipolarity and schizophrenia not as mental health, but as a biological. The same as high blood pressure or something. That allows them to cheat you on co-pay and deductible and charge you more. My insurance pays 100% for mental health, but, because of the parity law, they treat my visits as if they were a medical specialty. $50 co-pays. Could be worse. At least I do have some coverage.
Phat. I still feel as if I have emerged from a fragile state just to remain guarded against fragile states and, thus, food is my mistress. My love; my ecstasy. I really need start losing weight again. I haven't gained much but my pants did feel a bit snug this morning. So, on goes the battle. Just like an old truck, I have to adjust my choke to regain the hum of all the cylinders running. My bipolar pity party is over. Time to dig in. Not so easy.
Of course there are other days where I wake up charged and ready to kick some butt. I rush through my morning routine as fast as possible so I can begin doing what I love... writing. I write so many different things. Blogs, articles, commentaries, non-fiction, fiction... I'll write just about anything for $$$ or just for the fun of it. I was great in grad school. Most of it is about reading and writing. To be honest, I coasted at DU's GSIS and at AIU. Well, actually, I coasted through my undergrad as well. I graduated sum cum laude with a 3.9 something.
So I'm good at two things... writing and school. I'm pretty good at teaching as well, but I suck at car repair. I am pretty good with my hands and my compulsive perfectionism helps me when I construct walls and paint.
Painting artwork comes from somewhere else. I have a vision that sticks with me and I have to paint it in order to get it out of my head. I have one now that I am going to have to paint soon. I may or may not use my heavily textured method. This particular painting simply requires streaks of tonality. I couldn't explain it in words, but I alway marvel at the finished product. I stand back and, oh my God, it looks exactly as it did in my head. Now sign it and move on.
So what were we talking about? Fat and non-linear thinking. The difference between bipolars and normal people is that our mood swings are much more extreme. They consider bipolarity a biological phenomena. As such, most, if not all, health insurance companies classify bipolarity and schizophrenia not as mental health, but as a biological. The same as high blood pressure or something. That allows them to cheat you on co-pay and deductible and charge you more. My insurance pays 100% for mental health, but, because of the parity law, they treat my visits as if they were a medical specialty. $50 co-pays. Could be worse. At least I do have some coverage.
Phat. I still feel as if I have emerged from a fragile state just to remain guarded against fragile states and, thus, food is my mistress. My love; my ecstasy. I really need start losing weight again. I haven't gained much but my pants did feel a bit snug this morning. So, on goes the battle. Just like an old truck, I have to adjust my choke to regain the hum of all the cylinders running. My bipolar pity party is over. Time to dig in. Not so easy.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Thursday September 16th, 2010 - Mental health: bipolar
Today I would like to write about my bipolar disorder because mental health is imperative to weight loss. If you can't shake the downtime and learn how to manipulate the uptime you will be missing positive opportunities.
Bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness, is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks. Symptoms of bipolar disorder are severe. They are different from the normal ups and downs that everyone goes through from time to time. Bipolar disorder symptoms can result in damaged relationships, poor job or school performance, and even suicide. But bipolar disorder can be treated, and people with this illness can lead full and productive lives.
My late father committed suicide in 1993. He was 50. My grandmother committed suicide when I was a baby. She was 50. My uncle went early. I think he was in his mid-30's when he jumped off of a building. Several of my grandmother's family committed suicide. They were all manic-depressive (bipolar).
You really should see the clinician's faces when I start with that. I can almost hear them write "needs 72 hour suicide watch." To tell you the truth I do think about suicide, but I'm only 45 so it would be premature. I'm kidding, however, I do think about suicide. I almost tried. I had a plan, but my wife slapped my ass in the hospital.
That was 2001. I had just lost a $10 million dollar venture capital bid for my fledgling company. I was the CEO. I was under more pressure than I could handle. I started to drink beer then rum. It didn't help. I fell apart and landed in the "holiday inn" (mental facility) for the first time. They diagnosed me bipolar. I used to tell my wife that I felt as if something chemical was wrong with me. I was right. All the signs; all of my life, had pointed towards bipolarity.
I had a doctor tell me that I was the worst kind of bipolar: manic-manic. I do have panic attacks and I do feel overwhelmed by anxiety occasionally, but I wouldn't really qualify those as depression. She said that I was the worst because I fed on mania. She said I liked being super manic. I'm normally running on manic, but I can kick it up to the point where my family becomes concerned and they don't particularly like me. I love it because I can do a million things at once.
I always think I'm so smart and capable that everything I touch turns to gold, but then I come back and realize that I was fooling myself. In the mean time I would torment my family because I am short and overly determined to do what I want to do. I think I can walk on water and everyone should leave me the hell alone. My wife is my watchdog because I usually can't tell when I have crossed the line. Sometimes it's a real bitch to settle down even when I know I'm over the limit.
For many years after 2001 I felt bad and I would make urgent appointments with my doctor, but I stayed out of hospitals. In 2007, I was diagnosed with leukemia among a laundry list of crap. I corrected everything over the next few months, but I couldn't control my platelets or my weight. By November, I had blown up to 456 pounds.
They finally put me in the hospital and I lost 50 pounds on IV lasix and then I stopped eating. I ate a tiny bit, but everything started tasting like copper. I ate enough to keep me from passing out. I was losing two to three pounds a day. Some days I lost five pounds.
By the end of December 2007 I had lost 70-80 pounds. My meds went crazy and toxified my system. I went into the holiday inn completely psychotic. I was in a hallucinatory state for three weeks. I couldn't remember anyone's name except for my wife. I had a special friend who lived in my bedsprings. He looked like a cross between a dead harry potter and gollum.
I finally got out, but my outpatient status lasted a long time. Finally, after a year or so, my mind reached 100%, but my body was still shit. Shortly after that I began losing weight by becoming a strict vegan and an extreme worker outter dude (new words aka sarah palin).
I am much healthier today, but I still keep pilling more and more on my plate. I have at least 8 projects going on right now. If one of them tanks, the others may suffer because it is completely feasible that I will have an episode. Sometimes I feel like I am on the edge of madness, but I fight back and move forward. I know I'll have to go back to the holiday inn at some point. I do like feeling safe and nurtured. But, I don't need that right now. Everything is turning around for me.
My fluctuating mental health is my personal weight challenge. When I get manic I eat. And eat. That is the real reason I have gained weight back. I have been on high mental alert since January of this year. Staying healthy and stable took priority and calories did not. I've been trying to get back, but financial issues have kept me on edge. Soon I hope I can get a grip. As for today, I will do my best to diet. Humm. That was a long post. sorry. Now I have to write an article on free online education for denver senior citizens. Later. I apologize for any grammar errors. I don't have time to read back through it. If you like hearing about my deepest secrets,follow this blog.
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