Tuesday, June 22, 2010

June 22, 2010 - Second longest day of the year

Yesterday was actually the Summer Solstice, but I watched my clock and there was still only 24 hours. I'm kidding. Of course it means the longest stretch of day light for the year. From here on out, the sun will be out a few less minutes a day until the winter Solstice. I would have enjoyed being out in the sun yesterday, but I'm still on antibiotics and they tend to make me light sensitive. Sunburn sensitive. Anyway, I spent the day glued to my computer writing my book and loving it. I think it's really clicked into place. It knows its own identity and mission. Today I've included a short excerpt. I will try to post an excerpt each day.

Last night I decided that I am going to go "vegetarian" and not back to vegan on July 5th (my vegan birthday) because it should be more sustainable. I usually get cravings for cheese. I love cheese, crackers, and a nice mellow merlot. The biggest set back to veganism is clearly protein. I can't keep up with the amount of soy shakes that it takes to even get close to my recommended day dosages, so I've also decided that seafood will be included in my diet. No red meat, poultry, or pork products and by-products. I'll be very selective and conservative on any dairy in my diet. I like soy milk and I will keep that in my diet. I really hate cow's milk, I just love the cheese. I've been eating vegetarian pizza's without the cheese. I want the cheese. I guess that's clear enough. I didn't change my diet temporarily; I made a change for life (with amnesty for two weeks every June).

When I began my vegan journey, I felt cleaner. You can feel your energy pick up and you just feel clean. You need to try it to understand. Actually, you should try it. Even if it's only for a month. I think meat weighs you down. Maybe it clogs up the works. During my two week amnesty program I'm only eating organic meat. Nothing with bovine hormones or antibiotics. Free range if I can find it. Sunflower Market is a real good source for organic meats, however, King Soopers also keeps a small stock pile on hand.

So, I've gained weight since October. I was 310-313. Now I'm a 333. Just bullshit weight from not paying attention to my calories, late night peanut butter sandwiches, too big of servings, getting sick, because it's Tuesday, or whatever excuse I can think of all of which are completely my fault. Most of it was from the last two months. Vegan diets are still full of calories and that's the name of the game; calories. I own this new weight and now I have to lose it plus 15 more pounds so I'm back in the 200's by the end of the summer.

I haven't lost the dream of being an ideal weight, I've just made it a little more realistic. A large part of my frustration with my diet was that I wasn't losing 20 pounds per month. Actually, I think 5 pounds a month will be fine after I lose this first 28 pounds. I need to mentally get a grip on it so I don't get discouraged next fall. I know I can lose the 28 pounds this summer because I'm competitive and I have to answer to this blog.

It should also be noted that my overall health over the last year is like night and day. I was sluggish, fat, and easily winded. Now, I'm still on the biggish side, but I'm strong, healthy, and full of energy. I attribute that to losing weight and regular exercise. Not only do I still hit the gym three times a week, but I also ride my bike and find anything during the day that will kick up the heart rate for 30 minutes or more. Sometimes it is as simple as mowing the lawn.

As promised, here is an excerpt from the first chapter of my book "Positano." 

He was leading me away from the school. I was already late for class and I tried to turn back, but his protests were so fierce and angry that it paralyzed me with fear. I had to follow him. We ran into a cement building that was devoid of any color or décor. He was full of excited agitation. I followed him as he ran through one bland hall to another. We made so many turns I was completely disoriented. The hall began to blur and then we came to an abrupt halt. He pushed me against a wall just before another turn and motioned to me to shut up. I was trembling. I heard distant voices. He turned to me with an odd evil grin and ran down the hall. He had a gun. Farther down around a corner shots rang out in rapid succession and then came the screaming. I stole a quick peek around the corner and saw a lady and her child running across a junction in far distance. In a flash, the girl dropped and the mother cried out in horror.  I cautiously slinked down the hallway towards the gun fire. All I could see was bloody bodies beyond their last breath.
I looked down at my hand and it held a gun. The gun was hot in my hand. Warm blood dripped off of my hands. It wasn’t my blood. I heard someone coming and the gun rose as if it had an independent mind. I had no control. I saw a shadow and with great trepidation my hand began to fire. The shadow fell, but it still sat up and took aim. I was confused. Why is it shooting at me? I watched in horror as my gun began issuing a steady stream of shots. It fell dead. 
I could hear more voices coming my way. I ran in panic, but I was hardly moving. It felt as if I were running on a marshmallow floor. I no longer needed the gun. The rounds were coming directly from my bloody hand. My hand impatiently began to spray everything behind me. 
Up ahead of me was the white blindness. I ran to the light. Engulfed in a vacuum of bright fog I realized I was falling. I tried to find a hold, but my arms were left flailing in the wind. I realized I was going to die and a calm sense of hopelessness pervaded my entire being. 

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