My weight is simply out of control. Without a sustainable plan to keep any weight loss off, there is basically the same thing I have done since I was 20. And that is, diet, gain back plus 10%, diet, gain back plus 10%, diet, gain back plus 10%, diet, gain back plus 10%, diet, gain back plus 10%, diet, gain back plus 10%, diet, gain back plus 10%, diet, gain back plus 10%, diet, gain back plus 10%, diet, gain back plus 10%, diet, gain back plus 10%, diet, gain back plus 10%... you get the picture.
I would suggest that if I had never dieted, I would be about 150 pounds lighter. Still a little chubby, but not obese. In addition to yoyo dieting, I have had to take medication that either irritates my stomach or causes cravings. I also eat when I am stressed out. Since I am bipolar, depression comes often and I eat and then when I feel better I eat to congratulate myself.
All you really need to do is eat just 10% more than you should at eat meal or each day and you will become obese. It may take sometime and you may be able to exercise to keep up, but then you age and your life becomes more complicated and you stop exercising so much. I go to the gym to work out for one hour three times a week which makes me a fairly mobile fat man, but, since I am a writer and housewife, I don't get enough exercise even though I do go to the gym. I'm not lazy. I am busy.
Another huge contributor to weight gain is baggage. Many fat girls started gaining weight to get Chester the molester away. We all have emotional scars and they add up and for some people, like me, they turn into obesity. Let's see... some of the issues that came up during therapy were... multiple suicides including my father, sexual exploits in my young teenage years, participating in work theft when I was 19 (food items), some drug use, and many overlapping bipolar and psychotic episodes. Yup, mainly crap, but it added up. I was a stupid teenager and now I wear my stupidity. That sounds pretty stupid.
So all of these things plus an addiction to gourmet food and ice cream and chocolate have made me fat and I am tired of the yo-yo deprivation diets. They just make me hungry and miserable. I have decided to try to stabilize my weight gain and workout to stay healthy. I'm going to make wise healthy food choices avoiding processed and sugary foods WHILE I am saving up money for a lap-band procedure.
Ever since I started this blog in July 2009 I have been debating whether or not I should get the surgery. I've been through excessive exercise and even stayed vegan for six or seven months, but, eventually, the cravings took over and I snapped. Now I have gained back all the weight plus 10%. Actually, I think it's closer to 15%, but it's over. I am tired of dieting. It's time for bariatric surgery.
So what is the difference between bariatric bypass and the lap-band? The bypass surgically changes your anatomy permanently by connecting your throat to your intestines, thus, bypassing your stomach all together. The lap band is just a plastic/rubber ring that shrinks the area of your stomach, but it can be removed for say any medical emergency. I take hand fulls of medications for bipolarity and thyroid and ect... and the bypass may affect my med digestion. So I have chosen the lap-band because it won't interfere with the digestion of my medication. Of course there are huge drawbacks like getting food stuck at the ring or the tiny portions, but I am ready.
I just talked to a new oncologist who said I probably have a bad liver which is backing blood and fatty tissue in my spleen causing it to expand and hurt. Basically, I need to lose this obese fat in order to live. So for now on I am trying to save $4,000 for the lap band surgery. My insurance pays $7,500. I will also need to save for plastic surgery to get rid of the excess skin. BUT, bring it on. I am ready. It may take me a month or it may take me a year, but I am going to have that surgery. I have to.
So, now this blog has become all about the bariatric surgery again. Blah.
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