Thursday, March 18, 2010

Thursday March 18th, 2010 - First paragraph

Well, I'm still on limited movement thanks to my knee so no gym this week. Next week I'll go in and start back up with all my weight training except for my legs. There are two things I would like to share today. First course of business is a reprint of some very good advise from fellow blogger Tom Jacobson.

He explains that, with the following routine, he lost 30 pounds all fat. He began the day with 45 minutes of cardio to get the juices flowing and he alternated with 90 mins. of light weight lifting the other 3 days. Sunday off.

In his words: "In order to lose weight I ate 5 to 6 small meals (300 to 500 calories each) and did juicing for 2 of those. I never eat the same caloric content for each day. I think calorie shifting fools your body into thinking its not on a diet. Start your first meal at 7am and the last one at 5pm. Only drink water after 5pm. Throw in a little morning aerobics to rev up the metabolism for the rest of the day. Don't forget to clean your pipes before starting a weight loss program - more info here: Keeping a journal or even a blog, hint hint, will help you stay on track.

Second course of order. Many people have been asking about my book's rewrite. Well, it's the story from the eyes of a 14 year old boy. I asked my 13 year old what boys his age thought about. His answer: simple, boobies. If you can't get past the first paragraph, it's not going to be your type of book. In order to build my story, I had to be graphic. Read on if you dare...

”WAKE UP!” I heard him just as I was rolling over. “Get ready for school!” Crap; what time is it? 5:30am; Good God! “Okay, okay; I’m up.” Hello my enthusiastic morning woody! Oh man, what died in my mouth? Last night’s garlic spaghetti with garlic and… who in the hell serves brussel sprouts with spaghetti? Gross. Where’s my toothbrush? Good, there’s still some hot water. I’m frantically soaping up. I’m late again. A beautiful thought pops into my mind. I bet Katie is climbing into the shower right now. She’s 18 and smoking hot. She lives in the house directly behind ours. We only have a chain link fence so I can watch her sunbathing during the summer. Sometimes she looks right at our house and slowly applies suntan lotion all over with a slight smile. Pure exhilarating torture. As I finish soaping up, the image of Katie getting into the shower freezes me in my tracks. I envision her robe dropping to the floor exposing her magnificent nudeness. I see her as she timidly climbs into the hot shower. As the water flows over her soft curves, she holds the bar of soap and slowly circles her ample breasts and moves slowly down her body. She seems to be lost in deep thought as her fingers gently spread the soap over the rest of her body. Oh yes, take your time my love. She closes her eyes and floats into an orgasmic trance. Oh yeah baby… nice…. Oh, you missed a spot. Oh yeah… just a little more… BANG BANG! “HEY, DON’T USE UP ALL THE HOT WATER!” Damn it!!! My stepdad has the worst timing in the world. Dickhead. Shower’s over.

1 comment: