Saturday, June 11, 2011

Saturday June 11th 2011 - How I got fat revisited

I am waiting impatiently for my insurance approval. I should get it this week and then I will schedule the surgery. I can't wait. I am going to workout like I did in the summer of 2009. In the mean time I reflect...

When I was in high school I was at my ideal weight (175 pounds). After graduation in 1983 in Lakewood Colorado, I got a job in warehousing in Hayward California. For the first three years I worked on the swing shift between 5:00pm to 2:30am. I was a forklift order puller. It was a very physically strenuous job and it went way past my bedtime so two significant things occurred. The men of my shift ate like mad men and then turned around and drank gallons of coffee and no doze.

Anyway, this is the point where I started losing control of my metabolism. Binging and then voluntary malnourishment. I worked for that company for seven years and received promotions almost annually. When I left that environment I was a warehouse manager and had not worked a physically strenuous job for at least five years, but I still ate like I did when I was 19 and strong. So eight years after graduation I weighed 245 pounds.

I fought the weight while I worked as General Manager at a different warehousing company in Oakland California and got back down to 235, but then my dad committed suicide and we moved to Buffalo New York and I was not handling his death well. When we left Buffalo to Denver for graduate school in 1998, I weighed 285. When I finished working as CEO of a dot com in 2001 I stressed out and reached 310 or so.

After that I consistently dieted and lost lots of weight, but then I gained it back as usual. When I got super sick in 2007 I was admitted into the hospital at 456 pounds. In the hospital I lost almost 50 pounds of water weight through IV lasixs. Then I had a serious bipolar episode that lasted for two months and I lost another 50 pounds through literal starvation and reached back to 350. I stayed there for a while and then I went vegan in 2009 and began working out about 20 hours per week and I lost 35 pounds in 8 months. Then I started gaining weight even though I was still vegan. I got discouraged and slid back to regular eating and ballooned to 360. Then I got more discouraged, tried a few trendy diets and gained back enough weight that I know sit back at 400.

I relish the thought of never seeing 400, then 380, then 350, then 300, then 250 once I have lost them. I will not gain the weight back. Some people start stuffing their faces with cheating foods and start gaining weight after a year or so with the lap band. But my weight loss will literally extend my life and make it possible to get a liver transplant. No, I will loss the weight. I will be 190 pounds within two years and I will live everyday thankful to have part of my life back. I can't weight to shop off the normal sized racks.

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