Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Tuesday July 12th 2011 - Another bipolar episode

First, the good news; the surgeon's office called my insurance to start the approval process again and my health insurance, Anthem BC BS, told them that the date of operation just had to be changed and everything was ready to go. So, the hospital/surgeon pre-operation appointments are set for July 29th and the surgery stands at August 3rd. Just twenty-two days away!

Last night I sent in my loan paperwork and I'm going to the cemetery this afternoon to close the final deal on the sale of the last two plots. The loan is $3,000 and the plot sale is $2,200. Combined with the $2,000 plus in savings and I easily have my rough $6,000 covered plus I can pay off all of my credit cards. My credit cards were nearly paid off until I had the car repair and my son dropped coffee into his laptop.

So, I thought I had my father's death anniversary under control, but I was wrong. On Saturday, my wife and I had a nice lunch with friends and then went to see the new movie "Horrible Bosses." The movie was hilarious and returned home in a good mood. And then it hit me. I'm not sure what set it off, but I started snipping at anyone and everyone as soon as I entered the house. I knew I was being irrational and no one deserved my attitude so I left the house and drove into the mountains by myself.

My attitude was quickly slipping into a panic attack so I took the appropriate medication (a mood stabilizer and an anti-anxiety pill). By the time I was 20 minutes into my drive I was feeling better, but not well enough to go back home. Instead I drove up to a National Park just north of Evergreen Colorado. It had just rained so the air was crisp and the park bench was a bit wet.

As I sat next to a beautiful mountain meadow the only noises that interrupted complete silence was the occasional dart of a bird and the incessant call of a mother Elk to her baby Elks. There were so many Elk around me that at any given time I could watch young Elk frolicking about 30 yards from me and many female Elks grazing in the meadow right in front of me. I sat real quiet and four Elk walked within 10 feet of me. It was beautiful and it knocked me back into shape. I returned home a changed man and the rest of the weekend went well.      

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